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Tuesday, April 20

IPL-Gate: Pun unintended

[Statutory Warning: Some names and associated statements may create severe indigestion. Have some Gaviscon ready if you have]

The dust has settled on the MEA innings of Dr. Tharoor. And as a politically inevitable response, we're going to see the vacuuming of the the dust, dung and dirt from this IPL dinghy which effectively ran-out the minister. But some quarters have brought in the much needed fun-side to the fiasco by letting the world know what they felt about this all. Who else do you think? :P

Lalu Prasad Yadav is literally 'aghast' by the corruption he finds in IPL. He wants the Govt to take over BCCI and IPL, annex it into the Sports Ministry and perform an anointment.  I can foresee which portfolio Lalu will be interested in, if he gets in next time. But Sir, we're impressed by your honest attempt to sanctify our system. C'mon let's commence from Patna. Cattle-fooder for instance?

btw, Mulayam Singh Yadav is also reportedly 'shocked' and 'stunned' into submission by the rampant 'favouritism', 'money laundering' and 'unlawful activities' in IPL. According to the UP Supremo 'Cricket is a foreign game, it ought to be banned in India and Govt should promote desi games instead.'  Seriously, I'd like to know was this fellow is smoking.

"Yeh IPL kya hai, kya haaai yeh IPL" (What is IPL?), explains Hon. Minister Vayalar Ravi. Listen.

"IPL is a glorified gambling with black money. The Govt must look into it to see who is behind all this. Who are these people, where does the money come from? It is a matter of concern."

Moment of Eureka from Mr. Vayalar Archemedes Ravi! But why wasn't there no concern about all this before? Its not as if this IPL had suddenly mushroomed in the last summer rain. It took 3 years, and ultimately cost India a Minister, to open the can of worms that is IPL. I really hope something productive comes out of all this mess. Tharoor mustn't be made a scapegoat for nothing, especially when the High Court rejected a demand for a probe and the IT Dept has cleared him off any gain via this Kochi deal.

The third edition of the IPL is currently underway and in just 3 years its think-tank Lalit Modi has grown from a null-factor to a money spinner, ie in virtually no time. His growth chart, which looked like a rocket trajectory is all set to come crashing down like the WTCs of 9/11(yes, promising to bring down a few surrounding him as well). Someone who is not afraid to take on even the nation's Home Minister, someone whose career credits speaks for himself. Highlights:

The Telegraph

According to documents in possession of The Sunday Telegraph, Lalit Modi was convicted by a United States court in 1985 after pleading guilty to charges of possessing cocaine, false imprisonment and assault.
He was put on five years' probation.

From a school drop out, to a US University student acquiring a criminal record in drug-dealing and kidnapping, carrying on to become the all-in-all of Cricket India, Lalit Modi has it all in himself to make it to a Union Cabinet. What more could BJP ask for? He terminated UPA's poster boy, tainted the Govt and exhibits remarkable ability in multiplying financial assets in geometrical proportions. Oh, I almost missed out on the bollywood-ish traits. Look who is on the ramp, arms all over the former Miss Universe!

image courtesy

No surprise IPL has openly exhibited its liking for blondes, brunettes and the femmes of especially (and exclusively) the 'white' variety. Like the two black cheerleaders who learned it the hard way, as did Ms. Gabriella Demitriades, neither IPL nor Modi play by the rules of decency, transparency or dignity.

He always has a few tricks up his sleeve as that cock-n-bull tale on television about his Twitter account being hacked and 'some material' being deleted. What material dude, we've not lost our marbles yet hey...

Nevertheless, his business model impressed even the media-gods of our times!  Look at Pronnoy Roy showering the crook with praises when his New Delhi Television heralded him as the Businessperson of the Year 2008.

The Ministry of Finance is going to probe into all sources of IPL funding. (Newslink) Mr. Modi way well take a good few of the team owners, proxys and well-wishers to his grave. The high-flier, I guess, would be hurt pretty badly by the incessant fall from such great heights. Gravity is a cosmic phenomenon, so is Newton's III Law.

Let's wait for the real names behind all these IPL franchisee to come out. Already head-honcho Modi is doing some explaining about his blood relatives and buddies among the owner's list of some franchisee. Something which has been given tax rebates in hundreds of crores may well turn out to be a 'family owned enterprise' altogether. Waiting to watch how many roads actually lead to Pope in Rome.

Down far South, and a li'l bit to the West, some of the local leaders have expressed their 'sadness' over Tharoor ouster. Ramesh Chennithala's feeble voice was the first to be heard AFTER everything was over. He feels 'Tharoor should have been more careful' and that it shows 'how committed Highcommand is about ethics in public life.'  Newsreport

A big rofl! Ethics in Indian Politics?? First time I'm hearing of such a substance existing, I sure hope this isn't the Dark Matter those space guys are searching for. I presume this Ethics roll is handed over to all the members elected from all Assembly & Parliament constituencies, Mr. Chennithala?

To crown it all here comes a Kerala channel with a 'Vision' which spread the nitrous oxide like wildfire... Someone created a fake Twitter account of the IPL lady 'Sunanda Pushkar' (which has now been erased) quoting that she was 'very hurt by the ongoing allegations'. Our glorious channel guys actually jumped in and made this fake tweet their 'Breaking News' by actually quoting the fakie!!

Seriously mates, who gave you your certificates? Any novice will pass that account as a fake, clearly indicated by the profile picture of the run-of-the-mill media shot of the lady and a multitude of other indicators.

Guys, please. This is enough. This will rank up there, among the now famous hot-dog crack-up of the listless commie paper and the persistent spoofs of Kerala's most circulated newspaper (gulp). Pity. 

As for the IPL-gate and the Pandora's box, open sesame!

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