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Wednesday, February 16

Ultimate wtf hits town: Indi Commandos

Was just drafting a photo-post on Trivandrum's new International Airport Terminal for my friend Srijith and his TrivandrumLife metroblog when this news hit me.

Kerala's IPL Team's finally has a name. "Oh what's in a name" is probably what you'll think. But there more to it than the epic #wtf-ness purging out of this christening misadventure.

INDI COMMANDOS, with a tag 'Kerala' added as a delayed, reluctant after-thought.

For those thoroughly baffled and confused at this out-of-the-universe name, there is a method to this madness. The explanation, you fools:

From Kochi IPL Team's official Twitter page @IndiCommandos

ha--ha--ha--very funny. Feast time for Twitter guys and lampooning-experts. Nothing will beat this except for a Yarukku yaro sequel (or original). And what if we read between the name-letters?

The owners have no intention at all to carry on as a Kerala Team. If the name is any indication, this is an unscrupulous trick on the people of Kerala into believing that they own the team. No way someone would approve such a crappy name for such a serious business. Indi Commandos? Well guys, the name itself has more than 75% of serious profane nature as this Tweeter indicates. Fill in, don't!

 This is the problem with us mallus and our Malayalam language as a whole. ONV winning the Jnanapit is one thing, but whatever prefix you add to that 'ndi' it becomes obscene, which demands a strict A-inside-a-circle certificate. And with the slang and style we speak our language, especially towards the southern part of our state, this name is not going to be a tasty choice.

Remember the trouble our ace film lyricist Gireesh Puthenchery went through after writing this piece?

"Onnam vattam kandappam penninu K-I-N-D-A-N-D-A-M"

This is not a joke; my dad beat up my brother because the bloody bugger dared to sing it at home! Mind you, it was a hit number featuring Mohanlal. Language, my dear fellas, language. Especially Malayalam where people are so street smart that they see double,triple and all the hidden meanings in cosmos for every word/ phrase. We didn't want this I-N-D-I thing, no.

And Showsanth, Jadeja and co are the Commandos. Indi-martyrs?

Certainly the brain-stormers received a rude, unpleasant shock when they opened social media tabs. So here comes an interesting update! Awe...

Gotcha? The space between the 'indi' & 'commandos' is gone, "Kerala" suffix comes in to ascertain the 'proposed' location of the team and two goddamn exclamatory marks.

Blogger Vadakkus has compiled a cracker of a list of some pretty hilarious tweets of this frivolous christening. I think you all should read this :-)

I feel sorry for these guys, Windchime Communications, who've been given the job of 'social media marketing' for Kochi IPL Team. Task cut out guys, the mock-fan pages and hashtags have gone uber-viral on Twitter & Facebook...Good luck cleaning the muck. Damage control mode seems to be in order.

And if that's not enough, they've got a brand logo befitting the epic fail name. First looks tell me that this is the second runner up for a kinder garden crayons competition.

There is only one last thing left for Kerala's IPL nightmare. A theme song and promo video. Heard Priyadarshan is on the job. Man, take my advice and stick on to your remakes and Coca-Cola ads. This gonna be a sinking ship; only thing left to see is if it'll set sail on its first voyage or when it'll go down.

Tweetworld is ablaze. Such has been the preposterousness on the microblogging site that 'Kundi Commandos' tag was trending in India after the announcement. If you're not familiar with colloquial Malayalam, 'Kundi' means 'ASS'. Raw and plain profanity. Yeah, you wouldn't want your mummy hear you uttering that!

And so is Facebook. This has been so outrageous that the IndiCommandos satire page on Facebook has already more fan growth than the official page. 1000 members in under an hour! rofl! Congrats Kochi Team owners.

After over an year of roller coaster ride, costing a Minister his job, a hi-flier cricket boss into an asylum-seeker crook-on-the-run, ownership mysteries, money laundering  fiasco, team selection comedy and goof ups with more wicket keepers and spinners than batsmen (for T-20 team! ) this is what the head honchos of Kochi's IPL Team have come up with. This is what happens if you think too much for trivia.

Ultra #fail, epic ^2 proportions! Two to one that this one makes into Warwick Business School list for biggest branding disasters.

Kochi team think-tanks, I'm happy you all didn't decide to be priests naming babies. 

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